Freddy People

Screamfest 2007.

There are two kind of people in this world, my friend: You've got your Jason people and you've got your Freddy people.

Me, I'm a Freddy person.

Frankly, there was always something anonymous about Jason. Unknowable. Almost, forgive me, generic. He may have racked up more kills, but Freddy ruled the day. He was scarrier. Funnier. Darker. And certainly more creative. While a parade of (mostly) anonymous stuntmen have donned Jason's hockey mask over the years, only one man could slip on the glove and play Freddy: Robert Englund.

At some point during the development of A Nightmare on Elm Street, Wes Craven considered using a hulking stuntman to play Freddy, but reconsidered, recognizing the need for a genuine actor to play the role. Thank god he did. Because without Englund's performance, those films would've dried up. He embraced his star status with gusto and played each film to the hilt, giving us the first horror icon since Christopher Lee. Even in the lesser entries, when everyone else was just going through the paces, Englund was giving it his all.

When Freddy says, "You are all my children, now." He was talking to me.

That is why I waited three hours for an autograph from the man himself, Robert Englund. Snaking its way through the Wyndam hotel, into the parking lot, and down the sidewalk, the line was impossibly long. After two hours, I charted my progress:

I stared waaaaaay in the back, beyond the white fence on the left side of the pic. We were in that damn line so long that a couple got married in the hotel while we waited and I was still waiting an hour later. Honestly. Thank god I made friends with people in the line. It would've made for an excruciating three hours baking in the Florida sun without some fellow Freddy People to crack jokes at the expense of Friday the 13th Part 3's "Cashier Girl."

Finally, the moment approached. I gathered my reprint Nightmare poster and after after brief pleasantries, I stammered through an explanation:

"When I was growing up, horror movies were strictly verboten," I said. "Nightmare was my gateway drug into turning me into who I am today."

Englund silently considered this as he drew a Freddy caricature on the poster. I'm sure he'd heard thousands of variations on this story before.

After the drawing was done, he signed it. I burst out laughing at the dedication.

It said: "To James, Sorry I damaged your childhood. Robert Englund."

Damn, he's a fucking cool guy, to boot. Take that, Jason people.